Thursday, April 26, 2012

Hoon Woouraan, Kaar-e-khan Pakaan

Since ages man has been known as dogs best friend... err... some argue that its the other way round. I cannot comment on that. That would be like challenging a language, which I, with my midget sized intellect, just cant. However that doesn't mean that I can't hold on to my beliefs, its a democracy after-all! Earlier people used to say that, “Dog is the mans best friend” and they were right in their belief. It was a mans world at that time. Dog was given recognition by man. However now times have changed. Welcome to the 21st century Kashmir. Its a “dogs world” here and we are quite right to say, “Man is the dogs best friend”.

In earlier times men used to have rights. Everybody had their basic understanding, so much so that it was considered natural, something that was inherent. No name was needed for them, but as the understanding declined, some wise men came up with a name, “Human Rights!”, lest people might forget what they were. Talking  “Human rights” is the in thing these days throughout the world. All people talk about human rights, maybe just to sound human! However in my whole life I have seen human rights only in media publications. They were to be found nowhere else! At-least not here!

But here in “My Paradise” nobody wants to talk about the boring Homo-Sapiens and their rights! That's old. Canine talk is hot these days. Now you might be thinking that i am lying, but I ain't! As a testimony to my claim, try to lay hands on your friendly neighborhood dog. You wont be left with a hand. Who is gonna save you from the canine lovers (Animal Rights activists)? You cannot harm a dog, that's “inhuman”. If a dog dies, they say poor thing died. How pitiful! A life has been lost. India TV will make a full fledged episode of that and that too with dramatic background music. Your reputation (if any) will be in ruins. On the other hand when a small boy is mauled by dogs, nobody cares! Maybe its because there are 7 billion humans on this planet and as it happens in Kashmir, we can just say that he was a terrorist or potential terrorist.

“HOON”... well what can I say, the name demands respect! In the good old days as much as i can remember, calling someone a “hoon” was an insult. However the Flying Pigeon (a highly reliable souce) told me that its no longer the case. Everybody wants to be called a “hoon” now. This welcome change in peoples attitude has only been possible due to very friendly government policies. A “Hoon” is given protection now. In Shuhama, a one crore villa has been made for them. Moreover there is free food too (what else do you want?). Also to look after the dogs, the Rehbar-e-Hoon (ReH ) posts have been created. The ReH’s  will be paid Rs 3300, which according to the Flying Pegion is more than what is paid to the ReT’s to teach the human children. This sure gave me thr idea that where do the humans lie in the food chain.

A Hoon and a Minister seem to enjoy the same perks! Maybe the ministers should atleast take note of that (Izzat kee baat hai!).

“Hoon woouraan, kaar-e-khan pakaan”, that was age old Kashmiri wisdom. The youth here is talented, but sadly dont seem to have any opportunities. The need of the hour is that this enormously talented youth must be channeled in a positive direction, so that the society as a whole will prosper, and telling them to clean the dog poo certainly isn’t the best or brightest idea. Seems that the proverb has to be changed to,

“Insaan woouraan, kaar-e-khan pakaan”


  1. Assalamu alaikum.
    Tum to bade chupe rustm nikle.tusi gr8 ho!
    Shah Faisal

  2. this one is simply,,,,,,,,,AWESOME!!! great. check your mail !?

  3. Amazing insight. sarcastic delectable and timely